my medium

Fantabulicious idea

2005-11-16T16:53:00.000-08:00

I've got it. The idea to end all ideas. We did some stuff on the Vatican in Art History today, and me and Cam got the idea that streaking the Vatican would be "one of those things" you would never forget...a real landmark in one's life. I did some research on it and heres what i stumbled accross.

"...Another person who'd like some christmas cards and books to cheer him up.Stuart Durkin has served 5 years of a 13 year sentence in a Italian prisonfor streaking through the Vatican naked! He is in his cell 20 hours a daywith nothing to do - write to him at II A-9 Casa Circondariale MammaGialla, Via S Salvatore 141B, KM 1800 Cap, 01100 Viterbo, Italy"

I found it in a buisness journal. Good thing he did it first or one day I could be in his shoes...er...shackles. Send him some cards people! I plan to learn from his mistake and do some planning if i ever attempt this. I wonder if it could be a fundraiser?
I guess its just another dream for the future. Mail the guy if you can, he seems like quite a fellow.

too much work to do

2005-11-13T19:56:00.001-08:00

I think there's peace in knowing how much further we have to go. Not having anything left to strive for would make life...pointless. Its just another gift from God I guess. I try to picture how it would be if I was "good enough", to be satisfactory in Gods eyes. There would be no-where else to go...Nothing else to accomplish before I die. Scary thought. Im glad there's alwasy that constant set of goals to hit. I know I have a long way to go still, and I'm glad I'll never run out.

Explosive # 2

2005-11-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

Well this one was the same sort of idea, but with 2 cans instead on only one, and stuck inside an old computer moniter Brander kindly donated. After lighting we stuck an old VCR on top and took off. The cans were both almost full so the fireball was a lot bigger, and pieces of flaming computer went over out heads. Thats almost 200 feet! It was quite spectacular, especially cool because mum heard it from our house, almost 2 km away with a mountain in the way.
Hopefully this weekend we can head up to Stave and try out something bigger on one of the old car hulks up on the flats.

pyrotechnics

2005-11-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

Blew something up today, it was pretty sweet. C02 cartridge taped to a can of aerosol(I think it was scotch gard). Anyways, 200 fet away i could fe lthe pressure off the thing, and the explosion lit up the entire field at the abby. It was huuuuuuge.....if you stuck it in a dumpster it would rip the thing apart. I love it when things blow up liek that : )

help!

2005-10-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

I need a ride to......I dont know yet. Anywhere but here. Somewhere sunny, mountainy, with friendly people and places to swim. A liscence and a car with a sterio and good leg/trunk room is all that's required on your part.

I cant take it anymore..today was the day that made me snap. I try so hard to keep it in but I cant.Even the 2 week break didnt slow it down. Im going insane. I cant handle another week of school. Im trying to stay positive and attentive in class, but im losing the battle. Everytime my ass hits that uncomfortable chair/desk combo, a little piece of me just dies...well not so much dies as wanders off to do something constructive. I cant find any purpose for my life in that place. Even the will to survive is gone.
Im done. Reality, you win. There's nothing left for you to abuse. Just pin my defeated spirit on the board and make me take notes on it. I was wrong to ever think I could beat you.

Bananas

2005-10-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

We overlook a lot of little sums in life that dont add up.
As we worry about the pot issue....we forget that a drug can be made out of bananas. Now , think. Why is the thought of a banana drug less threatening than than the grow-op down the street? I dont know iether. Both drugs can be manufactured in your own home, in fact the bananas only require an oven and a cookie sheet while pot requires a bit more equipment. As I've been told, they are almost the same in the way they make you feel. The detrimental effects on the body are also almost the same. At least marijuanna plants make a strong material we can make stuff out of. Now, why is pot worse than a banana? Im niether cheech, chong, or donkey kong, but from a neutral standpoint I beleive its nonsense. A readily available drug is available to anyone of us at the grocery store but that doesn't bug us half as much as watching a grow-op get busted across the street. We need perspective. If we start to question why something bother's us or why something is called a problem, maybe we'll realize that life has a lot of stuff that doesnt add up. So, next time you buy a banana, get disturbed. Its no different than buying a plant...but we can still tell ourselves "its not the same".

properly wasting time

2005-10-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

*click*Pop Divas *click* reality t.v.*click*home decorating*click* hurricane katrina*click*Saddam*click*more hurricane stuff*click*more home decorating*click*Star Trek...ahhhh...finally some quality daytime t.v.

show love to the teachers

2005-10-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

I love what the teachers are doing. Sure, sticking up for themselves and wanting to be treated fairy is good and all, but I especially appreciate this extra fall break they've thrown in. A long break for each season of school. Perfect. Now, I know a lot of the parents are unhappy. who wouldnt be...God forbid they might actually have to see their children more often.
Ive found so much stuff to do so far this fall break! I bought a slackline(a tightrope sort of thing) and weve been having fun with shopping carts, parking lots, and cars. Lots of bouldering at the gym too.
not much more to say than that. Its been pretty good.

deconstructive rukus

2005-10-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

I realized what i want to do with my life. I want to do somethnig constructive. I want to learn how to juggle, how to walk on my hands, how to whistle through my fingers, how to make my ears wiggle and find out what happens when you live on poprocks. I want to sit really close to the t.v. and not comb my hair. I want to play in the mud and build a fort. I want to make a jetpack out of fire extinguishers. Iwant to spoil my dinner, eat ice cream before bed, and have a bed shaped like a race car.
Sadly this is the real world. Sometimes imagination gets you high, but then reality comes up and kicks you in the balls.

2005-10-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

I find myself pulling away from people lately. I dont know why. I'm starting to feel so pressured when im around people that I used to hang out with often. It feels like it's such an effort just to hang out. Even at school, i just think about getting out to camp again or getting out to the cliffs or the mountains. I feel like an ass. No-one has done me any wrong, but still I feel anxious just doing what I normally do with them. I think I need a more regular job. Something constructive to keep me occupied while I wait out winter. If i dont, i fear Im going to go stir crazy. I think life is too cream-of-wheat during the school year. Cant wait to get back to summer.

smile

2005-09-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

Im beginning to think the world has run out of happy thoughts. People seem to preoccupied with whatever it is they think about to realiz how much easier it is to be happy. its not like there arent problems, but they seem so much easier when you dont worry so much about them. People love to make mountains of molehills, then brag how they climbed that "mountain". isnt it just nicer to sit back and take it all in stride. Good feelings are contagious, so make a goal for yourself. Smile solid from wakeing to sleep for one day thsi week. Wake up and tell yourself your going to have agood day, then start smiling. Stop worrying about all the little things like money and your wieght, just smile. people will notice and they will smile back. its contagious.

jet lag post

2005-09-04T04:56:00.000-07:00

its 4:42 in the mornign and im already awake. i was up at 3 to find the house empty, so I ate some chesecake and all the stuff i usually wouldnt eat for "breakfast". i think I might walk to the abby and see the sunrise.
The plane ride was hell. i would rather have aroot canal or a full body rugburn than have to go thought that plane ride again. 33 hours of travelling is too much, it all just kinds blends together, with certian parts standing out, like the drink trolley smoking my leg somewhere near alaska, or waking up to watch madagascar closer to japan. A few of us got sick from the air conditioning, so Im having lots of green tea and thraot drops.
The feelign of stepping out of the airport and seeing mountains everywhere was sooo amazing. never forget what a beautiful place we live in.

homecoming

2005-09-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

Its been almost 2 weeks here in thailand. Its been good. I dont think God had missions in mind for me, but im glad i went and had this experience. The team was hard working and we got along o.k. There were a few tensions between some of us but that would be the only complaint. I felt spiritually dry for pretty much this whole trip. Nothing really spoke to me. I was really hit by the women dying of AIDS and the happyness of the kids when we set up the trampoline...but thats about it. Iwish I could be like jenna, she was so sensitive to what these people were going through.
If you ever get a chance to go to bangkok, dont. i cant stress that enough. its dirty, overpopulated, stinky, humid,full of dead things....its just gross. The hills and jungly regions are so nice though. less people and not polluted.
My favorite part of this trip was the elephant ride and rafting trip. it wasnt whitewater, but it had some rapid parts, and they were bamboo rafts, maybe 3.5 feet wide and 20 feet long that we punted along with sticks. WE got to go cliff jumping off some 20 foot cliffs into 4 feet of water, it was nuts, smoking the bottom flat on my back. i did some climbing where we were jumping, so Im happy I got some climbing in while we were here.
Another sweet part of chang mai is the night market. its just a massive strip of these tiny stalls of all sorts of stuff, knockoff brand names, wicked charcoal drawings, swords, throwing stars, tazers, jewelery, bootleg dvd's, cds...thai clothes...everything. It was a bartering frenzy. Usually we'd try to get them down to about half the price, some of them were relentless. Rodger was able to barter with a bottlecap, ben would barter up, and Id just run away. some of the sellers would yell and chase u up the way to try to make a sale. The deals were awesome. 120 baht for a t-shirt. 33 baht is a dollar. I got 7 pairs of thaipants(most comfortable pants u can get) plus some thai shirts and assorted stuff for other people. Im happy with my purchases, I didnt buy any junk.
Its been a good trip. I think being away from b.c. made me appreciate it even more. I cant wait to be home.

thailand tommorrow

2005-08-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

i leave for thailand tommorrow. i feel kinda bad 'casue im nto at all exited. im not worried abotu the hard work, or the flights, or any of it. its so wierd. Mitch was sayig nI should be exited to do God's work, and hes so right. i think when we get there and start hanging out with the kids and actually do some work, then Ill start to feel like im doing something worthwhile and get into it.
Im bringing my climbign shoes too. I dunno how clsoe we are to any cliffs, but if im going to thailand , I dont wanna see some cliffs and wish i had my shoes.
im already missin the camp people. theres just something abotu being stuck in one place together for a common purpose. Its really sweet. i cant wait to see tyhem when I get back.
Ill be able to check my email periodically, so leave one if u want. dimsung1@ hotmail.com. ill see ya guys when i get back.

the hike.

2005-08-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

K, so hiking up to the black tusk in Garabaldi has been my first real "fun" hike. Friday morning i was talking to Paul,Americandrea,Joleen,and Terri about this hike they were gonna do..and they suddenly invited me! I was stoked. So that night we left. The freeway, a half K from the clearbrook exit, was at a standstill. Paul dared me to streak all the way to the exit for a 20....I woulda done it for free but i needed the $20 so i took off in all my glory.
we ended up eating at boston pizza about 2 in the morning after going bush jumping and some fun times runnign around and jumping on stuff. Fell asleep to watchign snatch. the next day we got up real early..like 6 am and headed out to squamish/whistler to start hiking. It was beautiful. I cant put it into words. Garabaldi lake was so blue and nice, and the black tusk was such an amazing,awesome,fantabulicious hunk of wonderful that a picture just doesnt do it. me and paul ran down from the black tusk to where we stashed our packs......naked.....we suprised a few hikers, that was something else! I even made a snow angel...naked... We didnt get a site to camp at, so we slept beneath a no camping sign...as a sign of protest to the park services ;) next morning we got down to the car and had some white spot for breakfast before we headed home. i got a pirate pack and a doubldouble...for breakfast. we stopped to swim and do some bouldering at some lake in squamish o nthe side of the sea to sky highway. paul went skinny dipping, so andrea and aI threw his clothes up on a bouldering problem....and we made him climb it butt naked to get his clothes down...it was awesome, there were so many people walking by, he had an audience.....ive never laughed that hard. Then it was back to the bubble again for a week of belaying kids.

squeah news

2005-08-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

Back from squeah again. the last 2 weeks have been the mast amazing time. had losts of fun doing maintenance with steve. Did mostly landscaping the first week, then we got switched into running the rock wall for the last week....that ruled. hes a great guy to dick around with. on the weekend me, americandrea, paul,joleen,terri went to garabaldi park and hiked the black tusk. I finally got to do some cliff jumping up at fifth falls this year. Man i love that place. i got really stresed this last week about thiland. its hard to get stuff done when ur stuck in a bubble. I dont feel i am the same as i was when i left for camp. I feel sad to be back in the real world

farewell

2005-07-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

Im off again today guys. First we pick up that guitar playing williams boy we all know and love, then we head up to Kelowna for the weekend to visit his mum. I have to be at camp, in Hope, by sunday at 2. Its little Howards week as a camper! i stay at campt till the 16, then I come home for a day of packing and planning....then leave early morning on the 18 for thailand! Im home on the third of Sept.
Its gonna be interesting. camp is exhausting as is...and with thailand thrown in there, im gonna be sleeping from when I get back till the first day of school.
Ive been at cascade falls 4 out of 5 days this week....on the off day I went to hayward. If anyone hasnt ever been to cascade....go, its amazing. Especially up the river where the slide is. the water is so clear and cold and refreshing its unbelievable.
I hope everyone has a good time while im gone, I'll see you all later.

the learning experience

2005-07-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

K, I would have added this to my last post but I figured i'd break the 2 up.

So I went to squeah hoping to find peace and God opened my eyes with a smack. I do not want peace. I learned I can never have peace and still grow with god. there is peace of mind knowing god is there, and peace of heart knowing he always loves me. but I can never be at peace with myself. Not when there is so much more to learn and love. i have no idea what god has planned for me. All I know is my purpose is to become as close to him as I possibly can. i get so much joy knowing I have so much further to go. it just means that every single day is an opportunity to become closer to God. every single day has the possibility of being better than the one before it.
i got a problem though....heaven scares me. I was talking to Americandrea and we were talking about heaven....im afraid of it...she looks foreward to it. im scared because it means that ive finished the race and there is nothing left to learn. is it possible to grow while we're in heaven?....eternity seems like a really long time to have nothing left to strive for. I wish I had the same fearlessness about it as andrea does. shes lucky.

squeah-riffic

2005-07-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

well its been a few weeks, sorry guys. Ive been having a blast at camp squeah. i met some really intersting and awesome people. hers a quick rundown.

Steve:6'7.5'' does rock climbing, love guitar and wering womens pants...skinny dude...chased me up a tree then took off his pants and started screaming at foliage.

Dane:6'7'' fellow maintenance guy. has a farm out in lumby and can palm a boulder the size of my torso.

Garret(the german) the steriotypical muscular, cyborg, blonde german. Funniest forienger ive ever met. accent always makes me laugh...called me a "fricken canadian' and i laughed till i cryed. also a bad driver.

Danny: i dunno what to say. loves homestar runner..most patient guy with little kids...always in a good mood.

James: hilarious UBC student..awesome with the kids and a hackysack. something about his laugh always makes me laugh.

the deej (a.k.a the love munchkin): I dont know his real name...funny hobbit-like guy that habits around bushcraft.archery. he can take down a camper at 300 yards with a bow. very smart, very wholesome and honest.

ben: think handlebar moustace, huge muscles and tanning goggles....hes never ceases to do something to suprise me... lifting wieghts one minute then playing with his bellybutton the next..kind of a big-little kid.

kevin: blond haired, eccentric guy that goes to an art school....hes hilarious...hes got hair for a magazine too

wesley: think ADHD chipmunk on trucker pills. great guy

skeeter(daniel):knows the name of every band you'll never hear of. awesome musician, awesome to be around...another good guy for a hacky session

americandrea(andrea): american girl doign the camp thing for the summer. great person, loves the outdoors. really great to talk to.

joleen: 24 year old rock climbing chick i wnet on a nice, long hike with. i dunno what to say..shes freaking awesome to be around.

paul: lives on camp. Another guy who was on the hike. we went streaking.....a lot...everywhere. very loud and outspoken. makes outragious dares and bets.

theres so many more...but those are the people you'd really pick out of a crowd. I learned something from everyone I met. I wish i planned my summer around camp instead of planning camp around my summer. I have never had a bad day there. theres always work to be done. but a paycheck doesnt cheapen it...the food is amazing and i can always find someone to talk to or do something with. living in a room with 2 other guys is a learnign experience. i kinda took my comfort zone and flushed it.
i grew with god while I was there. I had hoped i would learn about myself there and I did.

2005-06-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

I dont really know what to say. It's been a very bland few days. I wanna be doing so much more stuff but my mum seems hellbent and stopping me from staying out late. I dont understand. i had more freedom hanging out with my alchoholic friends on a weekend than I do now, hanging out with youth kids in the summer. I hope she lets up soon 'cuz i fee like im gonna snap if she keeps me cooped up at nights like this.
me,paul,dave m. alex,rodger,and adam chilled inside today playing x-box...it was a fun day. Then me rodger, and faber went to the lake, then to rodgers for hot dogs on the fire. I love hotdogs. I dont care how much garbage is in them.
tuesday night we watched tank girl 'cuz no-one showed up fro guys night but alex,me,josh shick,and rodger. I love that movie. Its an amazng B-movie.

In my devo. book thers been a big section on kindness lately. I think its somethnig Im gonna work on. I dont think im a mean person...but untill Im like Mike A. I'm not kinda enough. I think working on kindness is on of those goals that i can always work on.
I cant wiat for camp squeah. It seems the logner I stick around here the further away from God I feel. I dont know what it is, but day after day with my mum nagging me, and my old friends pressuring me, and me just screwing up , I just feel lower than i did the day before. I cant wait to go to squeah and just let it all go and get away.
I hope the rest of you are doing ok. Ill see you sometime later this month. Im at sqeah till the 16 then with my a for a week...so by the 23 or so i should be back. Good luck.

when things go wrong

2005-06-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

This one is just a rant
I think the youth service went well. I think my talk thing was ok, everybody elses seemd better though...i was really looking foreward to celebrating with everyone at suicide, 'cuz this was the day I finally had time to relax. Well it turns out i couldnt go becasue I have to work at 4:30 out in abby....that is immensely crushing...now i know how little kids feel when santa turns out to be a hoax. Other stuff happenned i dont wanna go in to but Im kinda peeved at God ight now. I know he doesnt screw up...but im wondering why he had to pick today of all days to slap me around.

its been a while...

2005-06-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the gap guys. Theres been a lot of stuff on my plate lately. Work is picking up at the climbing gym....and I gotta say, as far as labour jobs go, this one's a dream come true. Im doing some speaking at church, along with mitch, jorde and kim this sunday and im gein nervous now. Everything just seems to all be happening this weekend. first aid training saturday morning, thailand fundrasier banquet saturday night, speaking sunday, then Ive had work every morning for the last few days. It seems the harder I try to stay upbeat and positive. the more other people are trying to drag me down. Im tired, im mentally exausted, physically sore, and trying not to be a downer for everyone else...then I get people nagging me and telling me how to do things "there way" or how Im not taking things seriously or how Im somehow to blame for their crabby mood. I think thats the worst part of it. Mental and physical exaustion dont really bother me...but crabby people just make me want to totally quit. Bad moods are contagious.

...and death shall have no dominion.

2005-05-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Another poem thing...I heard it from somewhere and looked it up. Its by Dylan Thomas.

And death shall have no dominion.Dead mean naked they shall be oneWith the man in the wind and the west moon;When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,They shall have stars at elbow and foot;Though they go mad they shall be sane,Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;Though lovers be lost love shall not;And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.Under the windings of the seaThey lying long shall not die windily;Twisting on racks when sinews give way,Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;Faith in their hands shall snap in two,And the unicorn evils run them through;Split all ends up they shan't crack;And death shall have no dominion

.And death shall have no dominion.No more may gulls cry at their earsOr waves break loud on the seashores;Where blew a flower may a flower no moreLift its head to the blows of the rain;Through they be mad and dead as nails,Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,And death shall have no dominion.

hayward antics

2005-05-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

today is sunny, really nice out. so me and little erin went to hayward lake anc hilled by the ropeswing. It was nice it was empty down there and the water was perfect.she opted for sunscreen, i did not. Its a burn, but it dont look like its gonna be a peeler. then we walked home....from hayward.....thats along,long walk. thank god her dad picked us up near ceder valley school. next time were gonna organzie a ride home better. oh well, good exercise, but i dont suggest u guys try it anytime soon.

monkey buisness.

2005-05-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

im starting to wish god would have givin us tails like our furry cousins. Climbing is starting to get a lot for fun and painful cuz im getting into bouldering. Bouldering is like climbings hyperactive cousin. Its going only a short way up, with no rope, but the routes are way more challenging. for the last 2 hours at the gym I was stuck on this one promlem, theres a spot where i have to launch off one side of the cave, grab a hold in the middle, then get my toe back where i came fro mand pull myself up. the jump is fun, I love to launch and grab, its gotta be the coolest thign aobut bouldering......but that stupid reach pulled my ab muscles and i feel like im gonna hurl now. No biggie, ill get it eventually. other than that not much has happenned this week. spent some quality time with the due upstair walking through the libreary trail on the way home from the bus stop today...thats about it.

birthday update

2005-05-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

I had a bbq for my b-day on thursday...well its not really by b-day till sunday.Thanks everyone for coming over thursday night. I had a blast. i got a wicked harness,chalk bag, and belay device from my mum, plus some money and gift certificates from my friends. 3 guesses what im going to see with the famous players gift certificates. Im going to my dads tomm(saturday) and coming back monday so...so long suckas!
Today, me spencer and amy went to the climbing gym and i tested my wicked awesome harness by falling...i figure if its not the safest way to test, its the cheapest. If it broke I dont think id be needing it after i hit the ground. No to worry...1 person died of climbing in canada last year....compared to the 500 people that died of toilets.
good luck with the rain this week. go pavement skiing if u can. Just push a large heavy lawnmower down a wet hill with grip-less shoes on. When ur going nice and fast, jsut plant your feet and let the lawnmower drag you. you can get rippin pretty fast.

gabriel maquez farewell letter

2005-05-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

been meaning to post this for a while. here it is.
Its some dude Ive never heard of till I read this, what he wrote on his deathbed.

If for an instant God were to forget that I am a rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life, possibly I wouldn't say all that I think, but rather I would think of all that I say. I would value things, not for their worth but for what they mean. I would sleep little, dream more, understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.

I would walk when others hold back, I would wake when others sleep. I would listen when others talk, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!

If God were to give me a piece of life, I would dress simply, throw myself face first into the sun, baring not only my body but also my soul.My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice, and wait for the sun to show. Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh dream a Benedetti poem, and a Serrat song would be the serenade I'd offer to the moon. With my tears I would water roses, to feel the pain of their thorns, and the red kiss of their petals...

My God, if I had a piece of life... I wouldn't let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them. I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites, and I would live in love with love.

I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old, not knowing that they grow old when they cease to be in love! To a child I shall give wings, but I shall let him learn to fly on his own. I would teach the old that death does not come with old age, but with forgetting.

So much have I learned from you, oh men...

I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain, without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled. I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father's finger, he has him trapped forever. I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet. From you I have learned so many things, but in truth they won't be of much use, for when I keep them within this suit, unhappily shall I be dying.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez1982
Nobel Laureate in Literature

Be. Real.

2005-05-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

I think theres something in honesty. God always tells us to be honest, but for some reason we still find ways to justify the untrue. A big one for me is praying. Why do we always pay lip servicce to God and not say what we mean? He can read our thoughts, he knows what we want to say, but we still insist on making it..."P.G."
What an insult. The same God who saw his son nailed to a cross, the same God who drowned the world, is the God we insist on being so "P.G." with. I have a feeling God doesnt need the toned down version. Dont be afraid to ask him why. Dont be afraid to get pissed off.
God's been a prick to me before, he's really kicked my ass around. But I know there was a greater purpose to it. I was mad while he was doing it. I loved him, but his methods didnt agree with me. Im sure he can handle me saying that.
I dont see why people turn away from being real with God. He is the end all be all of everything. He's a big boy, im sure he can handle it. So dont be afraid to tell him what you feel. Be honest with him. he deserves it.

another reason why boys are better than girls!

2005-05-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

Raising Boys Warnings:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller > blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too > late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. > >
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like > ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. > >
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

lifes only as good as the people in it

2005-05-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

I went climbing today with spencer and amy. after we went to a+w and some guy and his kid walks up, gives us 20 bucks and tells us to treat ourselves....i couldtn believe it..no catch, nothing.he wouldnt even take it back...i asked for any catches,everything...and still he told us to grab grub. we had money for food but still, he would nto take it back. He didnt even look super well off...just joe average dude with his kid out for a daily dose of grease. W gave the money to the cashier and told her togive the next down-on-their-luck person a free meal. I coulda eatin $20 worth of food...I was hungry.....but for some reason it wouldnt have been right. That dude was like God. he gives us so much...he gives us a life. I think I figured out why. he gives us a life to use it for the good of other people. I didnt need that money as much as a lotta people...Im pretty sure the dude that gave it to us could have used it more than us. It totally humbles me. That dude did more for me in 30 seconds than I have for a hundred people in my lifetime...I guess I got some catching up to do.

the importance of keeping in touch

2005-05-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

I think its great how those country families stay in touch..almsot brings a tear to my eye

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where
we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happened
within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address
as the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next
house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, I pulled
the handle and haven't seen them since. It only rained twice this week, three
days the first time, and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, your Aunt Sue said it would be a little
too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put
them into the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on
Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your Father...he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He is
cutting grass at the cemetery.
About your Sister...she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out if it is a
boy or a girl; so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he
fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, he burned three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving. The other
two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to
safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time, nothing much has really happened.
Love, Mom

I madam, I made radio. So I dared, am i mad? am I?

2005-04-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

Wow, i realized somethnig thsi week...im a better person. For montsh id been having a chuckle at someones expense..and now i dont... i dont even feel a desire to anymore. it feels great....unless Im watching america's next top model...there are too many things to make fun of.
I guess im just a cynical person, and its lead to some good one liners...but in the end it doesnt leave me with that warm fuzzy feeling i get from eating skittles for breakfast...i mean keeping my trap shut...
It actually feels great to be able to tell my friends to lay off of someone, or just to see people in a different light. i dont know how my life would be if i didnt have God. Not just god but the whole community of great people hes hooked me up with. Thanks to everyone. parents, friends, the youth, the church leadership...all u guys.

on a diff. note, I was thinkin that,for a thailand fundraiser, we could set soemthing up where we dont talk for 48 hours...not one peep..and try to get people to sponsor us for it. I need your opinions, would usponsor a kid to keep his trap shut?

ps. the title is a riddle...see if u can figure out why is so cool

Up to date update.

2005-04-12T09:26:00.000-07:00

Quite a good week. Great tiem at guys group last tuesday, and I hope it goes well again tonight. Its wioerd how Ive known most of these guys for only a year, yet id trust them with stuff i dont even trust myself with. Its nuts. Its amazing how close weve all become under God.
Ive started up my daily trip to Macs for a slurpee again, and man was yesterday funny. A friend, lets call him Joe, decided that, since he was munching out, we better head to mac's for food before he started to burn out...i figure it'd be a good diea to go with him for the entertainment and slurpee...well Joe is afriad of birds, and there on the side of the road is the biggest crow I have ever laid eyes on...and it was dead. Well joe, being as he was, was freaking right out. talking about crow zombies and clutching my arm...wow.....why anyone would wanna do drugs I have no idea.l
Not a whole lot else happenned, went to my dads hous for the weekend and had a pretty lazy time, chilled with my brother and saw what my sister did to her room. She painted it pink. Not like girl pink iether...it was bright, harsh pink. with a little black and dark pink as well. It was like being knocked on the head with a pink two by four. Eery nerve in my body told me this was bad for me, and for my own good i should leave.
Youth was awesome, Greg wasnt there so Erin had a bit of trouble keepin us in line but she did a good job...its a lot of work for such a small woman ; ).

confucious said what!?

2005-04-01T21:43:00.000-08:00

Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Stand on toilet, get high on pot.

Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!

Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.

Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.

Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.

Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.

He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..

Man who fly upside-down have crack up!

He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have crappy time.

When lady say no, she mean maybe when lady say maybe, she mean yes when lady say yes, she no lady.
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache

He who refuses to listen is lying.

He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.

theres never a happy medium

2005-03-23T22:33:00.000-08:00

I cant stand it...theres never a happy medium with God. its like trying to ballance a pin on its tip. it cannot be done.
I iether feel totally devoid of god..like im an empty shell...or i feel so full of his expectations that im gonna pop. it sux.. I feel the joy. I definately feel the joy of god in my life, but by the life of me i swear he's gonna be the death of me. I constantly feel his pressure in my heat and it hurts. he tells me to wait, he tells me its not time...but he puts this pressure on my soul that im not doin enough. hurry up an wait..thats what hes tellin me...and somehow i still trust him.
I cant stand all the new pressures in my life. i wanna go to firld in the middle of no-where and scream and yell and tear my hair out till the pressure is gone...but he says no.....i wanna stomp and jump on my floor till i fall through...just to let out a little steam..but he says no. I wanna take a knife to a stressball and feel the satisfaction of destroying one of those infuriating,invincible, latex balls of sand....but god says no.
I like to argue with him now...he really doesnt talk much in words, so its kinda one sided...but I kinda end up knowing a bit more about myself,which is good...and even though he never says anything...he always wins...how does that work?
I guess this is kind of a rant about god. Theres a fine line between judging him and discussing him, and thats the only line im able to walk right now. i cant stick him in my box and make rules as to how he can an cant act.....but i cant just let him go free and not care at all about him. I need to argue with him and challenge him for what i need....i tried to just go with it and i couldnt. he didnt work with me like that.
now all i have to do is sleep....the presure leaves when im out, and i need a rest from it. hopefully hell use that pressure soon, and i know he will, cuz i have no use for it.

2005-03-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

I cant trust myself with the truth. The only way i can tell myself the truth is to tell it to to other people. Untill i had an argument with my mum today, i never realized how much I lie to myself. i always knew about my problems, and i always tryed to sorth them out. But I had no idea how many problems and thing I oerlooked 'cuz im too focused on the dumb problems. i never reaslized I purposely put stuff between me and God. and i never realized I was so afraid of what he might tell me, tht i was ready to create problems to sidetrack myself from the real problems.
Ouch.
tonight i lost,found,destroyed,remade,destroyed again, and finally was given a new me...all in the span of an hour. I guess God finally had enough and kicked me around till i figured it out. Only by tellin the truth to other people did I stop lying to myself.
wierdest part was, how fast it happenned...like, the span of an hour and i totally realized what it was and what i had to do and it totally suprised me. i thought these things usually take years and years..at least they do in all the movies and stuff....or it happens in just one second...but only in all the crappy movies.
Im glad it happenned. asmuch as it killed to do, it was well worth it. i know beyond any doubt I needed it and its gonna be diff for me now.

broken railings and other such nonsense

2005-03-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

i had a pretty good weekend at my dad's house...on the way out the very,very,very cranky bus driver got in a bit...a big argument with another passenger , eventually threatening to call the cops on the guy for askin if there was time for him to have asmoke at that stop. i eventually got up and told him to drive and told the other dude to sit down. its amazing how moronic people get some days. I felt wierd though....like why was I the only passenger to say something? are all these people so dead they dont even care about each other? We shared a bus...were practically related! i just dont get why they didnt even try to help the guy out, he was a polite guy, didnt make a sound during the bus ride, and this dick of a driver suddenly goes off on him!
Anyways, It was a painfull weekend i guess, got hit in crotch like 4 times. ran into a large number of things, and slept on my arm funny...causing anguish in the morning when suddenly a cold clammy hand was touchin my face...followed by the funny relization it was mine..then the worry of wondering how long it had its circualtion cut off.....then the painfull part when all the blood goes back into it.
Played some baseball, which i havent done in a few years, felt good smackin tennis balls around a culdesac..losing all but that crapp on into backyards and hedges...it brought back some good memeories.
the bus ride back was uneventful....well i met a nice girl from hatzic and we chatted a bit, but nothin much else.
hers a joke I got. where does the no- legged dog lie down ?
wherever u left it!

the week went so fast!

2005-03-10T21:21:00.000-08:00

This has been a great week! monday nite youth and guys youth on tuesday were about surrender and I think it was exactly what i needed to hear. I felt a lot closer to God after i surrenderd some of the crap that i had on my chest. Almost everyday me and spencer have walked over to mac's at lunch for slurpees....its like I have an inexautable amount of spare change lying about my room lately its amazing! all i have to do is root around in the corners and i suddenly have the $1.75 nessescary for that syrupy, brain freezing hit of sugar, artificial flavours, lard and H2O. I think i work it off though. the walk there and back is a good one...and if we stop off at mission to say hi to people, its a good workout.
I've been listenin to a lot of the pixes and modest mouse, and it hit me that these artists are puttin out some good messages, and it seems really rare to find positive music thats not christian these days. Nothing against christian bands but they either sound like dc talk, or sound like grits....not a whole lot of options sadly, so i found some other mor positive stuff that really helps me get through the day with a smile. If anyone else finds christian bands the same way, you might trey some modest mouse, pixies, or some sweatshop union. goodstuff.
other than that the week just flew by, nice weather, some good riding, good music and good people made it def. worthwhile.

scotts new adventure!

2005-03-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

Well today at church I was seriously shocked when scott, our awesome pastor, said he was leaving us. Hes done so much and he does deserve a break, so i hope he uses his time off for some healing and for his kids. Scotts done so much for all of us and takin so many of our burdens and strugles with him day by day that i'm amazed he still kickin. I hope that none of our church sees this as the end of our church. Hes done an amzing job for us and its not like were never gonna see him around. Think of it as new hieghts v2.0 gods there, so why shouldnt it just keep getting better?
Keep your chins up and remember the good times, but dont forget the new times will get better

best douglas adams quotes

2005-03-04T21:49:00.000-08:00

for those of you who dont know who he is, douglas adams is the best author ever. he wrote the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series that i suggest you go out and buy now...wit..not now...yesterday. here are his better quotes

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

For a moment, nothing happened.Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandonded this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

...The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Time is bunk.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

die and live to tell about it

2005-03-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

Iwas thinkin today and yesterday about the ultimate rush. Sofar all the adrenaline junkies tempt fate and cheat death...but thats just cheating, and I was always taught cheating to be a bad thing. What if there was a medical way to die, and be brought back to life again a minute later, would you be willing to do it? what if there was a 5% chance of not coming back? 10%? 25%?...how far would you go?
I cant think of any bigger experience than to die and live to tell about it. I knew a guy who died in a bike accident, but they brought him back, but he was out cold before he died and after they brought him back, so he doesnt know. Its such a messed up idea that its gonna bug me for a while. good luck with it

encounters of the men's room kind

2005-03-02T09:48:00.000-08:00

hey. sittin in tech and I figured some guys would get a kick outta this. which one are you?
I think im #8

1. Excitable - Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2. Sociable - Joins friends in john whether he has to or not.
3. Crosseyed - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4. Timid - Can't go if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
5. Indifferent - All urinals being used, lets loose in sink.
6. Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually goes on floor.
7. Worried - Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
8. Frivolous - Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
9. Absent-Minded - Opens vest, pulls out tie, pees in pants.
10. Childish - Shoots directly in bottom of urinal, likes to watch it bubble.
11. Sneak - Farts silently while going, acts very innocent, knows man in next urinal will get blamed.
12. Patient - Stands very close for a long time. While waiting he reads with free hand.
13. Desperate - Waits in long line, teeth floating, pees in pants.
14. Tough - Bangs tool on side of urinal to dry it.
15. Efficient - Waits until he has to crap, then does both.
16. Fat - Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, urinates in shoe.
17. Little - Stands on box, falls in, and drowns.
18. Drunk - Holds left thumb in right hand, pees in pants.
19. Disgruntled - Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20. Imaginative-pretends he's the fire truck. Comes complete with sound effects.

its not me its you

2005-02-28T16:01:00.000-08:00

Alright. w00t the # 2 blog. i guess now I'm stuck with this thing.
So I was at my dads house all weekend and I realized something. Social studies is relevant. i never thought much of it aside from being interesting, but as I'm sittin there bummin around with my bro and his friends, something clicked. People are different all over the world. i always figured people in europe were just like you and me, and the steriotypes were just jokes. But no, its real. Everyones attitude over on the north shore seems to be more about what you get than what you give. People just seemed to be more socially challenged over there. I dont really mean to say they're bad people, most of them are good guys. Most of them just seem to have priorities a little bunged up.
This is where the social studies part comes in. If you ever have travelled, even a city over, you'll get it. The reason people are like that over there is 'cause its a population center, and the only way to stand out or have a definitive identity is to be better than everyone else. In Tulemeen its whoever can find the least constructive thing to do. i have no Idea about mission, I think only an outside observer could tell you whats goin on.
i guess this is nothing grounbreaking or new, but maybe next time you find yourself alienated or differnt when you go somewhere or come home, realize that people have a way bigger effect on you than you think. If its not peer pressure it wil hit you another way. weather its opini9ons or tolerance, anything can sway you. be carefull and stay true no-one can tell you how to be but you

the buckling beams of my hopes and dreams

2005-02-24T21:26:00.000-08:00

Man. Its been one of those days. one of the ones that takes an plans you had for it, stomps on them , eats them, spits them out then drops something heavy on them. I guess i got a little too high on myself and the big guy upstairs told me whats up. I get to feeling too good about life and I forget theres still so much more that needs attention. Ill openly admit it, Im constantly screwin up like this. So lately Ive takin to bringing with one of those little red New testament bibles with me to school and stuff so I have a physical reminder of the expectaions set for me.
Its insane sometime how God humbles me. Just a feeling and I know hes tellin me to shut up, and quit worrying about me, and start worrying about him. Thats what today was about. I had some good expectations to go riding today, maybe build a new drop in the park, maybe loaf about at the skatepark for an hour. No, none of that......I did yardwork instead. The worst kind too, raking leaves. I guess he I just needed some time with him. I dont think im spending enough now, and day after day that rock in my gut gets harder. I think one day soon I need to go for a walk out to the abby and sort things out. I feel like a packrat's garage. Im so full of useless and meaningless crap that the shiny new car is left out in the driveway. Arent garages suppoed to be for the car?. My life is gettin full of useless junk and Im leavin God out in the rain. Not that I dont open the door to come see him often. But I'm having trouble with keeping him as a priority.
I dont know who is gonna read this blog besides spencer. But hey, I'll try to keep them coming as life drags on.